Better Than Me
by Draco Owns All
Summary: Set when Edward leaves Bella in New Moon. Edward leaves and is in his car when he turns on the radio to try to forget her the song "better than me" by hinder comes on. All in edwards pov unless I decide differently. this is my first story.
1. Better Than me

AN: Hey this is my first ever fanfic so I don't know how good it will be

AN: Hey this is my first ever fanfic so I don't know how good it will be. I was reading ffn with my iPod playing and all of the sudden "Better than Me" by Hinder came on. And I realized that this was the most perfect song for _New Moon _EVER!

So the disclaimer: I (unfortunately) don't own Edward Cullen, Bella Swan, any other _Twilight_ characters, or the most amazing song ever: Better than me by hinder. They are owned by their respective owners (obviously).

* * *

I can't believe I just did that! I broke my perfect angel's heart. How could I have done that to her? Of all people Bella. Wait Edward, you know why you did that. Jasper almost killed her. You promised yourself and her that you would stay around as long as it was safe for her. As much as it hurt you, you would do what ever was good for her. Maybe, wait no, you can't go back while she's sleeping, that would make it harder to heal. Maybe the radio will keep my mind off of what I just did. What song is this?

I Think You Can Do Much Better Than Me  
After All The Lies That I Made You Believe  
Guilt Kicks In And I Start To See  
The Edge Of The Bed  
Where Your Nightgown Used To Be  
I Told Myself I Won't Miss You  
But I Remember  
What It Feels Like Beside You  
I Really Miss Your Hair In My Face  
And The Way Your Innocence Tastes  
And I Think You Should Know This  
You Deserve Much Better Than Me

While Looking Through Your Old Box Of Notes  
I Found Those Pictures I Took  
That You Were Looking For  
If There's One Memory I Don't Want To Lose  
That Time At The Mall  
You And Me In The Dressing Room  
I Told Myself I Won't Miss You  
But I Remember  
What It Feels Like Beside You  
I Really Miss Your Hair In My Face  
And The Way Your Innocence Tastes  
And I Think You Should Know This  
You Deserve Much Better Than Me

The Bed I'm Lying In Is Getting Colder  
Wish I Never Would've Said It's Over  
And I Can't Pretend... I Won't Think About You When I'm Older  
Cause We Never Really Had Our Closure  
This Can't Be The End  
I Really Miss Your Hair In My Face  
And The Way Your Innocence Tastes  
And I Think You Should Know This  
You Deserve Much Better Than Me  
I Really Miss Your Hair In My Face  
And The Way Your Innocence Tastes  
And I Think You Should Know This  
You Deserve Much Better Than Me  
(and I Think You Should Know This)  
(you Deserve Much Better Than Me)

Oh my God that is how I feel. She could have done so much better than me. But she didn't chose a human, she chose a vampire that could hurt her. A vampire that probably would hurt her. I have been so close to hurting her so many times. And Jasper, how could he have done that? Obviously the radio didn't help. Now where is that evil witch Victoria's scent?

* * *

**AN: kk so there is my first fanfic sooooooooo reviews would be appreciated **


	2. Apologize

Well now that life is meaningless, how do I cope

AN: Hey wow that surprised me that someone actually read my story. I just started that one so it would stop playing itself over and over in my head.

DISCLAIMER: I UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES OWN THE SONG APOLOGIZE OR THE TWILIGHT SERIES AND IT'S CHARACTERS (although it would be awesome if I did)

Well now that life is meaningless, how do I cope? Is there a handbook on how to move on with your life after you leave the meaning of your existence for her own safety? I still wonder, how Jasper let himself get out of control like that? I miss my Bella. I can't be near my family, I'm annoying them enough as it is. How did I leave her in the first place? This is ripping me apart! Great! Now why in the world is Alice bugging me with her over excitement? Can't she see that I just want to be left alone to wallow in my misery?

"Edward?"

"Yes Alice?"

"You won't do anything drastic in your life now that you……. Ya know…?"

"I don't know Alice. Why don't you ask your husband what I'm feeling so that you don't have to ask me, or better yet, why don't you look into my future so you can see what I'm going to do?"

"I did and that is why I'm asking. Heaven forbid anyone try to help you at all! All that I'm doing is making sure that you won't kill yourself! Is it that hard to believe that someone wants to help you in your life?! You should go back to Forks right NOW to tell Bella the truth and BEG her to take you back. I know that I wouldn't forgive you if I were her what with all the mental pain you must have put her through. Edward, you're my brother and I love you, but you are a complete and utter idiot. Could you have killed your happiness anymore thoroughly? Really Edward, what were you thinking?"

""What if I go back, what should I say to make her take me back? The truth? That I love her more than anything else in the world? That I would gladly kill anyone who has ever and will ever even think of hurting her in any way?"

"Yes, that is exactly what I mean."

Great now she sounds smug now. She knows that I can't do that. I promised her that she would have no reminder of us. I told her it would be as if we never existed.

"Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but I can't do that. Yet I remind your own husband who forced me to do this? And under no circumstances think that I wanted to do this. I saw no other option. It was to save her life!"

Amazing how she always knows what to say to get me mad. She is one of the only people who knows how much I want Bella to be mine forever but not to experience the pain of becoming a vampire."

"Jasper didn't force you to do anything! You did this to yourself on your own free will!"

"If he hadn't attacked her we would not be in this mess!"

""Edward! Calm down now! You don't need to get all worked up. We ALL understand why you did what you did we just don't support it."

"Alice, just leave me alone for once."

"You know what, I just might do that. I need to go back to the mall any ways."

"Good, and do me a favor and not tell me if Bella gets over me like I told her to and starts dating anyone else."

"Whatever Edward, and just so you know, I will be keeping an eye on her no matter what you say."

"I would expect nothing less from you, Alice, considering your standpoint on the issue."

"Exactly, now do you need to go hunting? Your eyes look a little black. Actually, they are black so…..GO HUNTING NOW!"

"Ow, Alice could you be any louder? Wait, don't answer that. I'm so gone."

(Edward is in the car on his way to go hunting. He then turns the radio on again to see if that will help distract him from the memory of Bella)

I'm Holding On Your Rope  
Got Me Ten Feet Off The Ground  
And I'm Hearing What You Say  
But I Just Can't Make A Sound  
You Tell Me That You Need Me  
Then You Go And Cut Me Down  
But Wait...  
You Tell Me That You're Sorry  
Didn't Think I'd Turn Around And Say..

That It's Too Late To Apologize, It's Too Late  
I Said It's Too Late To Apologize, It's Too Late

I'd Take Another Chance, Take A Fall, Take A Shot For You  
And I Need You Like A Heart Needs A Beat  
(but That's Nothing New)  
Yeah Yeah

I Loved You With A Fire Red, Now It's Turning Blue  
And You Say  
Sorry Like An Angel, Heavens Not The Thing For You,  
But I'm Afraid

It's Too Late To Apologize, It's Too Late  
I Said It's Too Late To Apologizes, It's Too Late  
Woahooo Woah

It's Too Late To Apologize, It's Too Late  
I Said It's Too Late To Apologize, It's Too Late  
I Said It's Too Late To Apologize, Yeah Yeah  
I Said It's Too Late To Apologize, A Yeah

I'm Holding Your Rope  
Got Me Ten Feet Off The Ground...

_Well that certainly didn't help! If anything it made things worse. I really do think that it is too late to apologize to her. I've hurt her way too much. Thinking about her just makes the wounds hurt more. That's it. I don't care what I told Alice or anyone else. I am promising to myself right now that I will not think or speak of the name Isabella Marie Swan or the extremely beautiful girl that it belongs to it ever again. If it kills me I will keep that promise._

AN: I know you probably hate me for making Edward do that but hey I did that for a reason. Reviews are awesome! Thanks for reading.


	3. Sorry, Blame Me

**AN: Hey guys. Wow it seems like I haven't written for this story in forever and a half. Rereading what I already wrote, I have found that it sucks. So while I love the reviews that I have gotten, I want to know, do you really want me to keep writing this or should I give up on it? If I keep it just know that updates will be few and far between. School is murdering me, I'm almost failing math and school comes first. So this chapter was written like 8 months ago, but I was lazy and did not type it up because I though that I was going to drop it. However, a recent review has made me change my mind. Thanks for lying and saying that it was good **AliceCullenTinyDancerrTwilight. **(And yes, Jasper is awesome and the person who I am experimenting with, tell me if it sucks ********)**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS OR ANY SONGS THAT I USE IN THIS CHAPTER. (Although, how cool would that be if I did???)**

Better Than Me Chapter 3: Sorry, Blame Me

_It's a good thing Edward is away hunting so my thoughts are safe. I just know that he hates me. There is no other explanation to why he locks himself up in his room so much He blames me for him having to leave Bella. God, it's not like I made him or anything. I have no idea what got into me, I thought that I had gotten my control as good as Emmett's standards. I will never be as good as Edward though considering my past, but I might have been able to be as good as Emmett._** (AN: Sorry to the Emmett lovers. Believe me, I love him too. He kinda scares me with all of the overexcitement.)**_ Now all of that is gone. To many years of my control have now gone down the tubes. Why is Rosalie coming to bother me? Does she not have better things to do? Wait, I can feel her sadness. _

"Hey Jazz"

"Don't call me that." _Great now I'm snapping at people._

"Well I'm sorry, I just came here to say that no matter what Edward says, it was not your fault that he left her. That was his doing, not yours."

"If I hadn't attacked her, then they would still be together. They would have had more time than they did."

"He would have left her for her "safety" anyways. A lot of good that would have done. She can't even walk across a flat piece of land without tripping. What you did neither sped it up, or slowed it down."

"Yes it did. By the way Rose, if you didn't remember considering how much you two didn't talk, her has a name. It's Bella. You remember her. The girl that you hated."

"I don't hate her. I never hated her. I'm envious of her, even now that Edward has left her, she still has everything that she would ever want. She has men who love her, a caring family who adores her, amazing friends, and she is HUMAN. She wanted to throw that all away for a guy. I never hated her; I wished I were she. And I secretly still do."

"Wow Rose, that was deep. Who knew that you of all people could envy someone?"

"Well I can so shut up. Now, I am no longer feeling depressed because a certain mood changing vampire has been spreading all of HIS depression around the whole house."

"Sorry Rose, but it's not like I can help it."

"Don't let it happen again." _And just when I thought that she could be nice to me._

"Hey do you ever get that Akon CD that you were talking about? I would as Edward, but you know how he's acting towards me."

"Umm, ya let me go grab it."

----------- 2 seconds later------------

"Here it is Jasper."

"Thanks, I'll give it back after I've loaded it into Itunes."

"Okay, whatever, I need to go to the mall anyways Alice told me that they have the shoes that I have been ripping the city apart for at the store in my size. So I won't be back for at least 5 hours."

"Now 5 hours just to buy a pair of shoes that you will wear once and then get rid of because you've worn them to much?"

"Silly Jasper, I'm not just going to get shoes. You never know what else they will have for me to buy. Oh that reminds me, do you know where Edward keeps his credit card. I don't want to be caught with a maxed out credit card and without a back-up card."

"Do you really need more stuff? And no I don't know where he keeps it."

"What good are you? You are supposed to know this. Yes I do need more stuff, do you need anymore guys stuff?"

"I wouldn't talk, which one is the one who rebuilds cars?"

"Whatever, I'm going to the mall"

_So, onto uploading the CD. Wow that was weird. Who knew that it played the song after you uploaded it? What is this song anyways?_

(Jasper freezes in true vampire fashion long enough to hear the entire song.)

As Life Goes On I'm Starting To Learn More And More About Responsibility

I Realize Everything I Do Is Affecting The People Around Me

So I Want To Take This Time Out And Apologize For Things I Have Done

And Things That Have Not Occurred Yet

And The Things They Don't Want To Take Responsibility For

I'm Sorry For The Times I Left You Home

I Was On The Road And You Were Alone

I'm Sorry For The Times That I Had To Go

I'm Sorry For The Fact That I Did Not Know

That You Were Sitting Home Just Wishing We

Could Go Back To When It Was Just You And Me

I'm Sorry For The Times I Would Neglect

I'm Sorry For The Times I Disrespect

I'm Sorry For The Wrong Things That I've Done

I'm Sorry I'm Not Always There For My Son

I'm Sorry For The Fact That I Am Not Aware

That You Cant Sleep At Night When I Am Not There

Because I Am In The Streets Like Everyday

Sorry For The Things That I Did Not Say

Like How You Are The Best Thing In My World

And How I Am So Proud To Call You My Girl

[bridge]

I Understand That There Are Some Problems

And I Am Not Too Blind To Know

All The Pain You Kept Inside You

Even Though You Might Not Show

If I Can Apologize For Being Wrong

Then Its Just A Shame On Me

Ill Be The Reason For Your Pain And You Can Put The Blame On Me

[chorus]

You Can Put The Blame On Me [4x]

Said You Can Put The Blame On Me [3x]

You Can Put The Blame On Me

Sorry For The Things That He Put You Through

And All The Times You Didn't Know What To Do

Sorry That You Had To Go And Sell Those Packs

Just Trying To Stay Busy Till You Heard From Dad

And You Would Rather Be Home With All Your Kids

As One Big Family With Love And Bliss

And Even Though Pops Treated Us Like Kings

He Got A Second Wife And You Didn't Agree

He Got Up And Left You There All Alone

I'm Sorry That You Had To Do It On Your Own

I'm Sorry That I Went And Added To Your Grief

I'm Sorry That Your Son Was Once A Thief

I'm Sorry That I Grew Up Way Too Fast

I Wish I Would've Listened And Not Be So Bad

I'm Sorry Your Life Turned Out This Way

I'm Sorry The Feds Came And Took Me Away

[bridge]

I'm Sorry That It Took So Long To See

They Were Dead Wrong Trying To Put It On Me

I'm Sorry That It Took So Long To Speak

But I Was On Tour With Gwen Stefani

I'm Sorry For The Hand That She Was Dealt

For The Embarrassment That She Felt

Just A Little Young Girl Trying To Have Fun

Her Daddy Should Never Let Her Out That Young

I'm Sorry For Club Zen Getting Shut Down

I Hope They Manage Better Next Time Around

How Was I To Know She Was Underage

Enter 21 You Know The Club They Say

Why Doesn't Anybody Wanna Take Blame

For Rising Back Out Disgracing My Name

I'm Just A Singer Trying To Entertain

Because I Love My Fans Ill Take That Blame

Even Though The Blames On You [3x]

Ill Take That Blame From You

And You Can Put That Blame On Me [2x]

You Can Put That Blame On Me

And You Can Put That Blame On Me

_Wow. That was… interesting. I can't believe that Akon did someth- wait, how did it start?_

As Life Goes On I'm Starting To Learn More And More About Responsibility

I Realize Everything I Do Is Affecting The People Around Me

So I Want To Take This Time Out And Apologize For Things I Have Done

And Things That Have Not Occurred Yet

And The Things They Don't Want To Take Responsibility For

I'm Sorry For The Times I Left You Home

I Was On The Road And You Were Alone

I'm Sorry For The Times That I Had To Go

I'm Sorry For The Fact That I Did Not Know

That You Were Sitting Home Just Wishing We

Could Go Back To When It Was Just You And Me

I'm Sorry For The Times I Would Neglect

I'm Sorry For The Times I Disrespect

I'm Sorry For The Wrong Things That I've Done

I'm Sorry I'm Not Always There For My Son

I'm Sorry For The Fact That I Am Not Aware

That You Cant Sleep At Night When I Am Not There

Because I Am In The Streets Like Everyday

Sorry For The Things That I Did Not Say

Like How You Are The Best Thing In My World

And How I Am So Proud To Call You My Girl

[bridge]

I Understand That There Are Some Problems

And I Am Not Too Blind To Know

All The Pain You Kept Inside You

Even Though You Might Not Show

If I Can Apologize For Being Wrong

Then Its Just A Shame On Me

Ill Be The Reason For Your Pain And You Can Put The Blame On Me

[chorus]

You Can Put The Blame On Me [4x]

Said You Can Put The Blame On Me [3x]

You Can Put The Blame On Me

Sorry For The Things That He Put You Through

And All The Times You Didn't Know What To Do

Sorry That You Had To Go And Sell Those Packs

Just Trying To Stay Busy Till You Heard From Dad

And You Would Rather Be Home With All Your Kids

As One Big Family With Love And Bliss

And Even Though Pops Treated Us Like Kings

He Got A Second Wife And You Didn't Agree

He Got Up And Left You There All Alone

I'm Sorry That You Had To Do It On Your Own

I'm Sorry That I Went And Added To Your Grief

I'm Sorry That Your Son Was Once A Thief

I'm Sorry That I Grew Up Way Too Fast

I Wish I Would've Listened And Not Be So Bad

I'm Sorry Your Life Turned Out This Way

I'm Sorry The Feds Came And Took Me Away

[bridge]

I'm Sorry That It Took So Long To See

They Were Dead Wrong Trying To Put It On Me

I'm Sorry That It Took So Long To Speak

But I Was On Tour With Gwen Stefani

I'm Sorry For The Hand That She Was Dealt

For The Embarrassment That She Felt

Just A Little Young Girl Trying To Have Fun

Her Daddy Should Never Let Her Out That Young

I'm Sorry For Club Zen Getting Shut Down

I Hope They Manage Better Next Time Around

How Was I To Know She Was Underage

Enter 21 You Know The Club They Say

Why Doesn't Anybody Wanna Take Blame

For Rising Back Out Disgracing My Name

I'm Just A Singer Trying To Entertain

Because I Love My Fans Ill Take That Blame

Even Though The Blames On You [3x]

Ill Take That Blame From You

And You Can Put That Blame On Me [2x]

You Can Put That Blame On Me

And You Can Put That Blame On Me

_Um, Okay, that was even more interesting the second time around. How was he able to voice all of my regrets in one song? That is so unnatural. I wonder if he is some kind of mind reading vampire like Edward. Scary thought. One overreacting vampire is bad enough._

"Jasper! I heard that!"

" Sorry your royal highness, I didn't know that you were home and forgot that you could read minds."

------------1/2 second later Edward is in Jasper's room--------

"This is all your fault you know Jasper."

"What the fact that you're able to read minds or the fact that you are upstairs in your room alone? The person to blame for the first is Carlisle and the second one is you. If Carlisle had never changed you then you would have never even met Bella! Now get the hell out of my room."

**Wow, what will Jasper do? What will Edward do? If you guys tell me to continue then you will find out next chapter. Please review!**

**3 iluvjasperhalemorethanedcullen 3**


End file.
